When Michael and Valerie Wood-Lewis first moved to their home in Burlington, Vermont, they were eager to get to know their neighbors and start building connections within their community.
So eager, in fact, that they baked cookies for the neighbors and delivered them on real plates – not paper plates. The hope was that, when the neighbors returned the plates, they’d have another conversation. Another chance for connection.
But the plates never came back. Michael did find one of them, later on. At a yard sale, in the 25-cent pile.
It was going to take a lot more than a plate of cookies to befriend their neighbors.
“What took me a while to figure out was, it’s not that the neighbors were unfriendly or uncaring,” Michael explains in this episode. “They were just busy and there wasn’t a stay-at-home parent in most homes anymore. Commutes were longer. People were just on the go, go, go.”
It was 2000 – years before the social media craze would take over. But Michael had an idea.
“Maybe we can use this newfangled thing called the internet to help neighbors connect and build community,” he remembers thinking.
So Michael and Valerie created a listserv for their neighborhood where people could ask questions, get recommendations or post notices about things like yard sales or lost dogs. They called it the Front Porch Forum.
The creation of Front Porch Forum has led to lasting change in communities throughout the state of Vermont. Even in the age of Facebook and Nextdoor, Front Porch Forum is still going strong; according to their 2020 report, for every 1,000 households in Vermont, Front Porch Forum has 750 members.
In this episode, hear the inspiring story of how Front Porch Forum transformed the Wood-Lewises, their neighborhood and neighborhoods throughout the state.
We’ll also hear from Kathleen Cagney, a professor of sociology at the University of Chicago, who explains health risks of not knowing your neighbors, along with the behavioral science of why community is so important to us. Tech/sci-fi journalist Andrew Liptak provides us with some context on the rise of social networking in the early 2000s. And meet Lauren Curry and Julia Andrews, who founded the food bank Westford Food Shelf – and found a lasting friendship – thanks to one message on the forum.
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Episode Transcript
STEPHANIE FOO: In 1999, Michael and Valerie Wood-Lewis moved from Washington, D.C. to Burlington, Vermont. Away from the bustle of a big city to a smaller, cozier town.
MICHAEL WOOD-LEWIS: We were eager to put down roots in a community that would mesh with our values and be really supportive of our kids, and we of the community.
STEPHANIE FOO: That community was the Five Sisters neighborhood. Near Lake Champlain and downtown Burlington. Close to many parks, schools, the library, and a church. Full of people with similar interests in the great outdoors. Perfect for starting a family. But Michael and Valerie quickly discovered that the community wasn't quite as welcoming as they'd hoped.
MICHAEL WOOD-LEWIS: We tried in conventional ways, chatting people up and whatnot. But it just … We weren't really getting very far.
STEPHANIE FOO: So Michael thought back to his childhood for inspiration. His mother would always bake cookies for the new neighbors. Take them over and welcome them to the area. So Valerie suggested they do the same.
MICHAEL WOOD-LEWIS: She had them on paper plates and I said, “Change them out for real plates, that way the neighbors will want to bring back and then we'll have a chance for two conversations.” And of course, secretly I was hoping that they might bring back cookies of their own.
STEPHANIE FOO: Valerie baked the cookies and took them over to a few houses.
MICHAEL WOOD-LEWIS: But in the end, we never saw the plates again. She had one round of lovely, brief conversations and then that was it.
MICHAEL WOOD-LEWIS: I lied a minute ago. We did actually get one plate back. At a yard sale. One of the neighbors had it out in the 25-cent pile. So I just quietly bought it back.
STEPHANIE FOO: This is Home. Made., an original podcast from Rocket Mortgage® about the meaning of homes and what we can learn about ourselves in them. And I’m Stephanie Foo. In this episode, the extraordinary lengths one family went to in order to belong to their neighborhood.
STEPHANIE FOO: Short a few plates and 25 cents, Michael and Valerie kept thinking up ways to connect with their neighbors. Most people would’ve given up, but if they were going to raise kids here, Michael was determined to give them the kind of upbringing he had. He grew up in Fort Wayne, Indiana in the 60s, in a close-knit community.
MICHAEL WOOD-LEWIS: We knew all of our neighbors. I was close friends with a few, moderately friendly with some others. And what I found as I became an adult, I was living in places where I didn't have any of that. It's not that I wanted to be best friends with my neighbors. I just wanted to be able to say hello by a first name. And have them know my first name. And to be able to say, “Hey, I'm going to be out of town next week. Could you keep an eye on the place?” Or, “Oh, I noticed you're on crutches. Can I help, make a run to the store for you?”
STEPHANIE FOO: But that was not what he was getting in Burlington. One day, several months after moving in, they were returning home from a hike in the nearby woods when they spotted a bunch of neighbors packing up tables.
MICHAEL WOOD-LEWIS: And I just kind of, my jaw dropped and I went over and talked to one of the folks. I said, “What's going on?” And he said, “Oh, this is the annual block party for the neighborhood.” And I was so disappointed, because that's exactly the kind of thing we were looking for. And I said, “Well, how does a person get to know about that?” He said, “Oh...” Kind of laughed. He said, “Oh, you've got to live here for 10 years before you're on the grapevine.” Ugh. I wasn't laughing. I just thought, “Come on.”
STEPHANIE FOO: 10 years is a long time to get to know your neighbors. At this point, Michael and Valerie were out of ideas. And it was starting to feel pretty lonely. Of course it was. Because community is a fundamental and universal need.
KATE CAGNEY: I grew up in a rural community and I saw a lot of social exchange and I saw farmers exchanging implements and exchanging children to do the work they needed to get the harvest in.
STEPHANIE FOO: Kate Cagney is a professor of sociology at The University of Chicago. She studies something called neighborhood social capital and its impact on the health of individuals.
KATE CAGNEY: There's a lot of work in evolutionary psychology and in social psychology, which suggests yes, that people found safety in groups.
STEPHANIE FOO: Kate says that in prehistoric times, belonging to a larger group was critical to staying alive. And we are still hardwired for that instinct. Because if there’s another human nearby, your chance of getting eaten by a saber-toothed tiger goes way down. In order to feel this sense of comfort, we don’t even need to be particularly close with someone else. Just their presence makes us feel better.
KATE CAGNEY: When you see other people on the street, when they are engaged in routine activities