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Home. Alone.

Sep 1, 2023

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Sometimes, the loneliness of being home alone can be a catalyst for connection. In this episode of Home. Made., we’ll hear two very different stories about people dealing with communication issues.

Home. Alone. In Shanghai

In 2010, Boston native Audrey Murray moved to Shanghai on a dare. She arrived in the city alone and completely unable to speak Chinese.

Audrey had come to China to teach English and work on her writing. But she quickly realized how isolating it was to be alone in a foreign country where you don’t speak the language. She couldn’t even enjoy some of the things she’d been looking forward to, such as the local cuisine. She found herself eating at McDonald’s frequently, because it was the only place where she could order without having to speak Chinese.

Enter the Magic Number. A friend told Audrey about this free hotline that non-Chinese speakers can call to get help communicating with Chinese speakers.

Here’s how it works: Say you’re in a taxi and you need to tell the driver where you’re going. You call the Magic Number and tell the person on the line what you want to say to the driver. Then, you hand to phone over to the driver, and the person on the phone will translate your request to them.

Audrey began to rely on the Magic Number for everything, calling 5 – 10 times a day. Until one day, when the Magic Number called her.

They were calling to invite her to their Chinese New Year Gala. In fact, Audrey was invited because she was one of their most frequent callers. She was mortified.

Woman doing stand-up comedy in Shanghai in front of a sign that reads "Kung Fu Komedy.".
Audrey Murray doing stand-up comedy in Shanghai.

After the gala, Audrey made a promise to herself that she’d never call the Magic Number again, and that she’d commit to learning Chinese.

She did. And in doing so, she was able to make new friends, explore new frontiers and learn more about herself.

“What learning the language did, was it allowed Shanghai to become my home in that sort of like, deeper, more emotional sense,” Audrey says in the episode. “I mean, I just grew so incredibly attached to it and I learned to love the city and the culture and the Chinese language.”

Home. Alone. While Living Apart Together

Our second story follows the experience of Rebecca and Shawne Huff as they experiment with a living arrangement called living apart together (LAT) in an attempt to save their struggling marriage.

Rebecca was the one to suggest she and Shawne try LAT. Over the years, Rebecca and Shawne had stopped communicating. Their home was quiet, and even though she was living with her husband and their two kids, Rebecca felt alone. She would tense up when Shawne walked into the room.

“Which is ironic because that’s how my parents were as I was growing up,” she says. “And I always thought it was kind of sad that they both had such separate lives. And now here I was doing the same thing.”

Man and woman smiling standing close together.
Rebecca and Shawne Huff

While working on a podcast about relationships with her friend, Rebecca discovered LAT, a living arrangement where couples live in separate homes. She wanted to try it.

When she presented the idea to Shawne, he wasn’t wild about it. But he wanted to salvage their relationship, so he agreed. What they both found was that being alone, together, was the push they needed to reconnect.

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